The first weekend in June is officially over.

That means there are only 13 more weekends left until Labor day. UGH, Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer a/k/a a day that brings me inches closer to Winter. Yes, I know that Autumn takes place somewhere in between but once it dips under 70º, it might as well be Winter.

Knowing that there are just over a dozen weekends in my favorite time of year, I try to use each weekend to it’s fullest.

After all, I have a list.

This past weekend, the list consisted of 1 Bridal Shower, 1 Baby Shower, finishing up my deck, chauffeuring kid 2 around, working out and 1 date.

Some things on the list were checked off, some were not and because I’m really careful to leave enough blank spaces for life to have it’s way, some stuff was added to the list.

Let’s start with Friday.

My work day ended a little early so I rushed home to get the chore of washing my hair done. Within 2 minutes of walking into my not-so-clean-home, I had to strap on my mean-mom hat (ok, ok, I know I never really take it off so maybe I just had to tighten it). And, via text, I threatened kid 1 & kid 2 in such a way that they would know their lives were at stake while wording it so that I would not be linked to the potential crime.

2 hours later, my hair was washed and blow-dried. Since the 1 date I had on the list was cancelled/postponed/whatever, I decided not to sit home and waste the night away. I, instead, opted to go see little-brother #4 and his lovely wife perform at a small fundraiser.

They did their thang and they did it well. And, just because there’s always something new to learn even with things we thought we already knew, I was shocked… SHOCKED… to learn something new about the classic song, You Are My Sunshine. The song goes from…

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You’ll never know dear how much I love you.
Please don’t take my sunshine away.

to the third stanza/verse…

I’ll always love you
And make you happy.
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me
To love another
You’ll regret it all some day.

Whoa… well that escalated quickly.

To get over the shock and, quite honestly, the disappointment about the new thing I’d learned, I decided to turn my attention to niece #3. Nothing brings back my faith in humanity like to pure joy and love of a baby. I kneeled down about a foot from her and, as she sipped through a straw, I called out her name. She didn’t look up from her cup. Obviously, I didn’t say it loud enough. So I called out her name a little louder. Nothing. I then called out her name and threw in, “I’ve got candy.”

How young is too young for a little girl to start rolling her eyes?

So, my last ditch effort was to ask her plainly, “psst, you love me?”

That awkward moment when you break your own rule: never ask a question you’re not prepared to hear the answer to (or in this case, visually witness).

I’m just gonna blame it on the contents of whatever was in that red solo cup.

On to Saturday.

Woke up at the crack of dawn no thanks to the yapping dog across the alley. I tried to ignore it. I closed my window. I turned on my ceiling fan in hopes of drowning it out. By the time I’d mentally written a not-so neighborly letter to it’s owner, I decided it was probably best not to ink out those thoughts and instead go for a ‘run’ (fyi: that last statement is probably gonna be the funniest part of this blog).

I got to the park just before 8:00 and decided to warm up with with a 10 minute walk. After 30 minutes, I was too warm to run so I decided it was best to just walk the rest of the hour. It worked for me.

After my workout, I got home and got ready for the 1 Bridal Shower I had penciled in for the weekend. It was set to start at 10:30. I was 15 minutes late. Which was no big deal, since I forgot to adjust for the correct time zone. 15 minutes from my home would (under normal circumstances) still be the same time zone. But, alas, I was venturing over to a function co-hosted by the one of the sweetest woman I know but who is known for not ever (EVER) being on time or being ready on time. Needless to say, after factoring in the Gerena-time-zone effect, I was a good 30 minutes early.

The wedding shower was in and of itself, simple and sweet. Not unlike the young Bride-To-Be.The food was great and the people who attended were great. But the greatest moment, for me, happened when I was sitting just left of little Ana. She was already a bit peeved with me because I asked her to not to touch her sister’s drink about an hour earlier. So, as I was considering heading out, I looked over at the plate that she had CLEARLY pushed forward (a sure sign that she was done with it’s contents). I noticed a mini-apple pie on it and mentioned to her mom, “oh, there are apple pies? I think I’ll take one home.” To which her mom replied, “take that one, she’s not gonna eat it.” At which point, Ms. Ana pulls the plate back toward her, picks up the pie, LICKS IT and puts it back on the plate.

TREATED.

I waved my white napkin in defeat and decided that Ana and I will be good friends… as long as we don’t sit at the same table.

 

Needless to say, her mother was a bit mortified by her actions. It’s much cuter when they’re not your own.

The rest of that day was a blur. I mean, really, what could top that???

Before I knew it, it was Sunday.

Once again, I ventured out for an early morning run. And I did run… right back inside to put on sweatpants and a sweater when I realized how cold it was. But that’s pretty much all of the running I did. My usual hour long walk around the park was cut down to 45 minutes and the distance I usually cover was cut significantly when I decided to walk with a friend. She wanted to stop and take pictures. No. No. No. We don’t take pictures or stroll on morning walks. We walk. And we walk briskly. I have a doctor’s note. She didn’t care. Lesson learned. She won’t be joining me on my Sunday morning walks anymore.

Next up was the 1 Baby Shower I had on my list. Once again, a sweet little gathering for one of the sweetest gals I know.

After the Baby Shower, as I was driving along Kedzie, I came to a full and complete stop at the 4 way intersection near Hirsch St. As the SUV in front of me drove off, I noticed something had been thrown out of the window. At first, I thought it was garbage. And, of course, I mumbled a few nasty words under my breath about the driver. But as I started to accelerate, and the contents started to blow all over the street, I realized it was a wallet that had been thrown out of the car. I stopped my car and quickly got out. As did most of the people in the cars on the other sides of the streets. I picked up the wallet and, as it’s contents and money flew around, most of the people came toward me to hand me what they had managed to gather up.

I was shocked to see a couple of people get out of their cars to grab whatever money they could get and drive off! SHOCKED. And so angry. So much so that when I noticed one couple who got out of their very nice CRV to ‘help’ and ran back into their car to drive off, I suddenly forgot I am more of a lover than a fighter. I went towards the car as if I was an inbred pitbull.

People, did I not just mention that my main source of an exercise regiment is walking briskly. And I’m just gonna put it out there and admit that lifting 3 pound weights as I lay on my bed watching HGTV isn’t giving me the solid, toned guns I think I should have just because I put forth the effort.

But I digress.

As I walked toward the couples car, another good Samaritan walked over from behind and knocked on the passenger’s side window. Good Samaritan must have thought the wallet/money belonged to Bonnie and Clyde because she started to hand the money over to them. Again, I have NO IDEA why I thought it was was ok for me to reach inside of the car, take the money out of Bonnie’s hand and then extend my other hand until she gave me the money she had picked up and pocketed. AND SHE DID. Then I looked at Clyde and he pulled out the single dollar bill he managed to get his grubby hands on and handed that over to me as well.

As I switched my glare from her to him and back at her again, I can hear myself say (quite sternly), “REALLY? REALLY? REALLY?” As I looked at the id in the wallet I continued, “‘Neither of you look like J. Martinez-Valdez!” It was just after the 3rd “really” that the little voice in my head started to tell me, “ummm…. that chick is about 150 lbs and she can clock you at any second.” That’s when I silently thanked the voice in my head as I trotted back to my car and drove off. 10 seconds later my hands started to shake uncontrollably and I could hear my heart pounding.

I took the wallet to the police station after I called his credit card company and told them what had happened and where I was taking the wallet. They said they’d notify him. I was still kinda flustered because it wasn’t until after I left the police station that I realized the police officer who took down the information was incredibly good looking and I didn’t stop to see if he had a wedding band or a name. Although I’m quite sure he had a name.

So if anyone out there knows who was working the desk at 4:00 yesterday in the 14th District. Ummm… ya know.

After a fun-filled weekend of celebrations, getting dissed by people who don’t have a full set of teeth and coming to the aid of those in need while picking unnecessary fights with rather large people in rather large vehicles, I ended with a little bit of dancing at Navy Pier… and a strong urge to purchase a cape.

What’d you do this weekend?